I’m not a big fan of delayed gratification–it seems like an inefficient use of time and fickle desire. I think there’s only one thing better than getting something you know you want somewhat right away, and that’s getting something you didn’t even know you wanted.

I was re-thinking that when I spied Stone’s 07.07.07 Vertical Epic Ale ($5.99) in the beer section at Whole Foods. The label copy sells the shit out of the stuff, which I appreciate as both a beer lover and marketer/pimpstress. The story is thus–the San Diego, California brewery releases one “larger-than-life, heroic adventure” per year, each brew different from the last, on 02/02/02, 03/03/03, 04/04/04, etc. up until the year 2012. Each ale is meant to be aged until 12/12/12, after which date the careful collector is urged to do a “vertical tasting” of every blend in order, resulting in said epic. Presumably sometime before 12/21/12, or Mayan Doomsday, to be on the safe side.

Genius. But as usual, I find out about this kind of stuff too late to make any easy ebay money off it. As a matter of fact, if I could go back ten years or so, I’d probably just tell myself to buy as many domain names as I could possibly think of. And wear sunscreen.

But I probably couldn’t horde beer anyway. Just standing in the checkout line line at Whole Foods, with the foul, calorie-deprived breath of some waif panting down my nape was enough to convince me to crack this stuff open soon as I got home. This year’s edition draws inspiration from Belgian Saisons and Golden Triples, clocks in at 8.4% alcohol, and packs a flavorful punch of spices—ginger and cardamom, and something like pumpkin. It’s tasty stuff and I only wish I’d know how it will stack up five years’ hence.

A review of Vertical Epic.

Vertical Epic 07.07.07 while supplies last at Whole Foods on Houston St.